Scandalous!

I have never understood the wisdom of the Lord, the goodness of the Lord, the heart and the character of the Lord. When I thought I knew Him... knew Him well, I realized that I didn't really know Him at all. I have just been playing in water puddles.... and it's as if the Holy Spirit has slapped me in the face with an ocean of God that I have been missing.

I do know this: The closer I get to the cross, the more I clearly see the holiness of God and the sinfulness of me. Then I get even more amazed by grace then I already am. Also, the closer that I get to God, the more I find myself thinking with the psalmist, "What is man, that You are mindful of him, the son of man that You visit him?"

Honestly, what am I that the God of the Universe should think of me, visit me, or love me? And I don't know what to do with myself before Him. One moment, I want to run to Him, hug Him and squeeze Him to death... never letting go! I want to just think Him over and over and over again, because I love Him so much. It's the only way I know to thank Him for the love and grace He gives that I do not deserve; He makes my heart melt with His love and His goodness DAILY! 

Then the next seconde, I come to Him like Mephibosheth did before David, I come crawling to Him. I am at His feet and facedown, because I know that if I could open my mouth to speak, I would sound like Mephibosheth, "What am I but a dead dog to you?" or even like Isaiah, "Woe is me, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell amongst a people of unclean lips?"

I am a sinner, and I find myself in this place often. All I can do is ask for mercy. It may sound crazy, but I am so thankful for these times because they cause me to become more aware than ever of the depths of my spiritual poverty before Him. I have nothing to bring! I am like Mephibosheth... lame, helpless, patheltic even, before a King so beautiful and glorious! Without struggle, I could not humble myself before Him. 

It is here, in the midst of being broken, that I know mercye, goodness, and amazing grace!

It's like when David lifts Mephibosheth off the floor, restores him, and promises him a seat at the King's table... for the rest of his life! It's when the holy, glorious God of Heaven holds my face in His hands and tells me He loves me. He calls me by name, the name that only He knows, because He is the one who gave it to me... I am so very special! It's when that kind of love turns me into a lovesick disciple... I become, in a way, ruined by His scandalous love! Ha... it's awesome!

I love the way He loves us! Gah... I hate that I can not express how much I love this. 

First Sunday!

It is officially 2011! They say what you do on New Years day tell how your year will go, well I spent my New Years with my family. The summer I spent at the Children's Home and losing my grandpa put things in perspective for me. I love my friends and they are a blessing from God, but I realize that while they will come and go, my family will be with me until the end! I love them!

New Years Eve I roasted hot dogs around a bonfire. Hot dogs are not my thing, so I tried some Vegan franks that my Aunt Jane had given me. Considering they were meatless, they were surprisingly GOOD! The burntness made them even better too. Then, I popped fireworks with my brother and dad. Some of those darn things nearly gave me a heart attack... no joke! Fireworks are so pretty though, not one of them are ever the same. After freezing too death doing fireworks, we all came in and watched the ball drop on television. Then, we stayed up and watched a GIANT moon-pie drop too... apparently it's a tradition in Alabama. It was strange, but very interesting to watch.

On New Years Day, my mother and I watched the Rose Parade on television. Those floats are insane! How awesome would it be to make one of those things? It boggles my mind to think that someone could create something as beautiful as those floats are, out of nothing but organic material! It's too freakin' awesome! My mother cooked black eyed peas and cabbage for dinner. We ate them not for luck, but because they are so delicious! I made a cabbage wrap filled with black eyed peas and vegetables... it was so so good! I totally bummed it the rest of the day!

Have you ever realized that when we make resolutions that we are not truly passionate about, it is so hard to achieve them? Today was the first Sunday of 2011. I went to church with my grandma at Longview Missionary Baptist Church. Bro. Nathan preached on the things we should be passionate about in this new year and ways to help us focus our priorities as we make our resolutions.

1. Be passionate about life. Jesus Christ died for YOU! He loves you, everyday 24/7! Be passionate about that and His plan for your life. He has a purpose for you... seek His will for your life! It's the best, I promise.
2. Be passionate about church... not physically going to church, but BEING THE CHURCH!! We all need to realize the value of church and meditate on the amazingness Christs' bride holds!
3. Be passionate about people. To sacrifice ourselves this year and make resolutions that are not about us. This is a small but difficult resolution sometimes. One that I forget or toss on the back burner often. I challenge myself this year to put others first and to see people though "Jesus' eyes" I want to reach out to those that are without, not to fulfill a resolution, but to share the love of Christ with random acts of kindness. I want to be a living expression of Christ love! 

God, I pray that You drive my resolutions and You guide my 2011 to future Your kingdom and make Your name known!