Scandalous!

I have never understood the wisdom of the Lord, the goodness of the Lord, the heart and the character of the Lord. When I thought I knew Him... knew Him well, I realized that I didn't really know Him at all. I have just been playing in water puddles.... and it's as if the Holy Spirit has slapped me in the face with an ocean of God that I have been missing.

I do know this: The closer I get to the cross, the more I clearly see the holiness of God and the sinfulness of me. Then I get even more amazed by grace then I already am. Also, the closer that I get to God, the more I find myself thinking with the psalmist, "What is man, that You are mindful of him, the son of man that You visit him?"

Honestly, what am I that the God of the Universe should think of me, visit me, or love me? And I don't know what to do with myself before Him. One moment, I want to run to Him, hug Him and squeeze Him to death... never letting go! I want to just think Him over and over and over again, because I love Him so much. It's the only way I know to thank Him for the love and grace He gives that I do not deserve; He makes my heart melt with His love and His goodness DAILY! 

Then the next seconde, I come to Him like Mephibosheth did before David, I come crawling to Him. I am at His feet and facedown, because I know that if I could open my mouth to speak, I would sound like Mephibosheth, "What am I but a dead dog to you?" or even like Isaiah, "Woe is me, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell amongst a people of unclean lips?"

I am a sinner, and I find myself in this place often. All I can do is ask for mercy. It may sound crazy, but I am so thankful for these times because they cause me to become more aware than ever of the depths of my spiritual poverty before Him. I have nothing to bring! I am like Mephibosheth... lame, helpless, patheltic even, before a King so beautiful and glorious! Without struggle, I could not humble myself before Him. 

It is here, in the midst of being broken, that I know mercye, goodness, and amazing grace!

It's like when David lifts Mephibosheth off the floor, restores him, and promises him a seat at the King's table... for the rest of his life! It's when the holy, glorious God of Heaven holds my face in His hands and tells me He loves me. He calls me by name, the name that only He knows, because He is the one who gave it to me... I am so very special! It's when that kind of love turns me into a lovesick disciple... I become, in a way, ruined by His scandalous love! Ha... it's awesome!

I love the way He loves us! Gah... I hate that I can not express how much I love this. 

I also love His wisdom! Read this excerpt by A. W. Tozer! It is long but it's amazing and so worth it. 

 Most of us go through life praying a little, planning a little, jockeying for position, hoping but never being quite certain of anything, and always secretly afraid that we will miss the way. This is a tragic waste of truth and never gives rest to the heart.

There is a better way. It is to repudiate our own wisdom and take instead the infinite wisdom of God. Our insistence upon seeing ahead is natural enough, but it is a real hindrance to our spiritual progress. God has charged himself with full responsibility for our eternal happiness and stands ready to take over the management of our lives the moment we turn in faith to Him.

Here is His promise: ”And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.”

God constantly encourages us to trust Him in the dark. I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron: and I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the Lord, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel.”

It is heartening to learn how many of God’s mighty deeds were done in secret, away from the prying eyes of men or angles.

When God created the heavens and the earth, darkness was upon the face of the deep. When the Eternal Son became flesh, He was carried for a time in the darkness of the sweet virgin’s womb. When He died for the life of the world, it was in the darkness, seen by no one at the last. When He arose from the dead, it was, 'very early in the morning'. No one saw Him rise. It is as if God were saying, "What I am is all that need matter to you, for there lie your hope and your peace. I will do what I will do, and it will all come to light at last, but how I do it is My secret. Trust Me, and be not afraid.”

With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures.

This is the One who makes all things new. This is our God. And we are His treasure. We are scum, and He loves us!!